Monday 9 April 2012

Stubborn Heart

I've put my heart in a bottle and wrapped it in hate
I saw no point in sending you something special
In any case all I have is myself
Just an unworthy man, who knows your far beyond his reach, out of his league
But my heart it beats for you
It bleeds your tears when you cry,
It breaks when your heart aches and feels the pain that lies deep down in your soul
All it wishes is to make you whole, but to you I am glass
You only see whats behind me and don't know how my heart yearns to beat in synch with yours
How it is connected to your being
It can not see a world with me that doesn't include you
It cries out for you buy day and night
Each beat sings your name
It brings you into my dreams--the only place where your heart and it can meet
I try my best to tear it away from you
Replace you, destroy all memory of you,
But the more I fight my heart the more it insists that I'm nothing if you and I are appart
It wont accept that you dont want me
No matter how painfully obvious it is or how lonely and depressed it makes me to yearn for that which I can't have
If only I could reroute my hearts path
Why is it refusing to listen to me
It's mine
I should control it
Why cant I stop it from wanting you
Why do I cry at night at the thought of you... knowing that you see right through me
Dont even give more then a 'hi' and a slight nod when we speak
The kind of noncommittal action you give a bum on the street
But it's enough for my hearts wings to flutter
To it you said hi on the winds of love
I just don't understand why I love you so much
This infatuation is taking over and ruining my life
I'm going crazy, cant think or eat right
My whole world revolves around what you're doing
Where you are, who you're dating now, and what it would be like if the person that received all your love were me
What it would be like if I was the friend who's shoulder you cried on when you had a broken heart
But I'm not that close to you
So I just watch you come and go as I sink deeper in my hole of lust for you
My heart has locked itself to the idea of having you
And there is no escape now
And I can no longer stand the pain
I have to kill the pounding in my chest
It's been too long since my heart spoke to me
It only has time for you,
I have been lost and forgotten
So I'm plucking out my heart and stuffing it in a bottle
Yeah how do you like it now
If you want her you can have her, and I'm stopping it air tight
I hope you die before reach her
And I'll grow a new heart that loves me and cares about my feelings
And I hope you die slow so you can feel the torment you've brought on me
How it feels to yearn for something that can never be
So for now I may be heartless
But my wounds will heal
And tonight for the first time
I'll sleep in silence

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