Cracked

Constant continuous cracks in the soul
Looking for filler, something, anything strong enough to hold together the pieces
Fix the fractured entity that lies deep within the wells of my inner being
The one no-one sees, hears, that exists just a few levels below my heart
The foundation of all that I am, shattered, again and again by the world, people, humans
Creatures just like me but not the same
Built the same but functioning on a different plane
They stab me with indifference because I am different
Deflect on me their shame because they're shameless
Ignore me because they are ignorant and pretend to turn a blind eye to my pain
Act like they are not the dark cloud to my rain
The lightning that cracks through the storm and hits me every time... much more than what is normal but for me... it is the norm
Still, I know you know what you are doing
I know you thrive, live, breathe and feed on every piece that cracks away and falls just beyond my reach
As you silence my voice, kill my spirit and watch me slip into a place void of grace where I come face to face with the reality that though there's nothing wrong with me, because of you, I don't believe this obvious truth
Try hard as I might to win this fight my attacks have no power to break through
Make them see and feel the damage they've done
But it seems they've already won and left me undone and alone, trying to fit in, be accepted just as I am
It's a battle I cant win so I'm left where with the continuous breaking of my soul
It only heals to be broken again... a never ending cycle
And I fear it only happens to let more darkness in from a world so cold and spiteful
To grow and become a part of me and reshape me in its empty void... continuously
So I decide to give up and enter the emptiness, and then... I see it
One ray of light fighting to get in before my soul reseals itself again
I force with all my power to stop my usual cycle and just before my soul again is closed
Through the last crack enters hope

©Samuel Alexander April 2017