Thursday, 19 April 2012

Freedoms Song

I'm in a place that I can’t escape
Even though I hold the key to open the door, as I step through I just find myself in another space-- the same as the space I’m trying to escape
But just across the room, I see another door—and yes the key unlocks it
So through I go expecting something more, something new, something... My heart drops to the floor as my eyes behold a room identical to the room before
So again I turn the key, yearning to be free
But find myself, yet again, in another duplicate chamber

This space I must escape grows with each key turn, each progression that I make
Chambers upon chambers, a maze within a maze
And everything about this space that I try to leave behind
Grows with each new room and my despair is multiplied
And though I’m sinking into a well of saturated madness
And though I know each door will only bring me more dread
Though my logic tells me to throw away the key… I can’t ‘cause I know out there freedom is calling to me
It's singing my name in a key so sweet
A never ending song pulling me along
I must reach it, I know it's behind the next door
But alas… here I am… in the same chamber... once more

There is no escape from this place
There will be no release
But the song keeps getting louder saying “come to me, come to me”
Over voices saying go left and voices saying right
Voices saying do this and others saying not tonight
A crowd of people influencing me, pulling me this way and that
I must break free from the noise, freedom lies behind this door next
But in this next space I sink deeper into the maze

But freedoms song is still calling, that one lone voice above the crowd
It’s so loud I must press on, must continue, can not give up, must run, must run
Must go through this door, must navigate this maze
God why wont this crowd shut up
It's way too loud, I cant hear myself
Can’t find my position, got lost in the space
I must escape--Must escape--Must Escape--Must Escape!
I know if I find the room from which freedom sends its call
My voice will be found and that room will be the last of them all
I will open every door, will continue, will press on

I will not let this maze defeat me, now a new voice says I’m crazy
But I’m not… I'm determined, determined, oh god, make it stop, I cant get out, I cant get out this door has to be the one,
Why does this room look the same?
What’s wrong with this key?
This space is so familiar--the walls, the paint, the smell, the sound--I'm going in circles my voice will never be found
Still the torturous song of freedom continues on so loud

It's laughing at me, mocking me, enjoying my pain, my frustration--the agonizing torment of falling for the same trick over and over again
Well, keep singing your jesting tune
I’ll prove you wrong, I'll win, I'll win, I'll find myself in the next room
Trust me you’ll see… No longer will your melody haunt and mock me
‘Cause this time it will be different
This time I will take my time… open it slowly, slowly, slowly just a bit
I’ll do it much, much slower, than I did before, and take a peek--just a slight glance, in the crack of the door
That's all I’ll need 
Just a glimpse
Nothing more
Maybe I’ll catch the song before it leaves the room
Maybe freedom’s trying to tell me I'm to hasty, move too soon
So I take a peek inside and I cant believe my eyes,
I shut the door… 
Throw the key cross the room… 
Sit in the middle break down and cry
I had just witnessed myself, peeking out the next door, across the room, from behind
I now know why I can’t escape this space
I'm trapped inside my own mind

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