I Didn't

I didn't want to be here again
I didn't want to feel these feelings again
I didn't want to fall into this place
I didn't want to share my life, my space
I didn't want to have you in my arms
I didn't want to feel the warmth of your touch
I didn't want the feel the softness of your skin, to feel you breathe, and moving in sync with me

I didn't want my body to meld with yours
I didn't want our two parts to form something whole
I didn't want to let down my guard
I didn't want to feel the warmth in my heart
I didn't want to feel so joined with someone I wished we'd never part
I didn't want to feel so lost in you,  to drown in your soul, to give you my all

I didn't want someone to make me want to live again
I didn't want someone to become more than just friends with
I didn't want to feel the hurt and pain
I didn't want all the excitement this connection can bring
I didn't want to again feel the need to let go, of everything,
To become so vulnerable, and free
And ready to experience all that love can bring
I thought I had shut that down, destroyed it, forever, but now, you are here
And I'm drowning in my fears in a world full of things that only brought me pain
But now I'm head deep and lost in your soul there is no escape,
You have me,
I'm yours

I didn't want to say I love you again
I didn't want to hear someone say it back again
I didn't want to give up my trust and put it in your hands
But as I hear you say those words to me, my heart smiles and beats so harmoniously, with yours
I'm glad I got everything I didn't want again