Thursday 5 April 2012

Voice













"I'm glad I woke up today."

Don't believe him
He doesn't mean it
Listen to me
I'll tell you his secrets
What he really means is he hates each new sunrise and each new breath
Would rather seclude himself from the world, be alone, in his home, never leave his bed and face reality
Not when he can live the world in a constant dream,
But his dreams are full of nightmares so he doesn't like it there either
Happiness... what is that
To him it's a foreign idea
Glad he woke up?  I laugh at that.
Who does he think his fooling with his faux optimistic outlook
Even an idiot can see it isn't real and not truly how he feels
But just in case you can't that's why I'm here
To sort things out and make it clear
But don't let him know I released his truth
Let's keep this all between me and you

"I am hopeful about what today will bring"

Is he serious,
Clearly he's delirious,
I cant believe I'm even hearing this
But here's the real deal,
Here's what he wont tell you
He loathes what the new day will bring
He wishes he could just live in a world of make-believe, but sadly this can not be
The new day brings to him the reminder of the person he is and the one he will never be
The face of the man full of the opportunities that escape him looks back at him in the mirror, and taunts him with the possibilities of a reality, that will never be known to him
Life is his worst enemy
It only reminds him that he is nothing in the big scheme of things
Just a lonely dot in the ant farm of the world of people that come and go each day seemingly happy with their mundane existence
But he is not, he is alone, he is sad, lost, destroyed, and swimming in a void full of wondrous things he knows he will never reach
If only he could defeat life at it's game
But life has been ruining mankind for so long it's arsenal is far greater than anything he could combat
He sees no hope in the new day, only more of the same,
And as far as he's concerned this day can fuck right of till tomorrow
He yearns to wish today away
Still... let him keep his secret
But I speak the truth, believe it

"I am ready for today and am impervious to negative energy."

Who the hell does he think he's fooling
God I'm even ready to knock some sense into him
He knows he sees nothing but hate in the world
Nothing but backstabbing, self destructing,  rapping the world of its natural resources kind of people
Everyone is evil
Out to destroy him, bring him down and bury him alive
So yes he's ready
Ready to fight back, kill or be killed, destroy at all cost, get them before they get him and never play fair
He is a bomb of undercover destruction
A snake slithering in the grass, and in an instant he has you in his grasp squeezing you to death
Cause in his eyes you're already dead
You've never once tried at all to lift him up or hold his hand
And I must admit although he is a bit insane
He wasn't always like this so I do understand his pain
Of wanting to see the good in the world and only receiving hate
Trying so hard to be better, to grow, but the vipers of the world wont let him move on from the low, depressing, sad state he's in
So yeah he's on the defensive and he plays to win
He always has his guard up--always ready to attack
So to hear him say negativity cant harm him, is a falsity at best
He has been broken so many times that all he understands is strife and unpositivity has a profound effect on him
He just cant deal with it
But since he won't listen to me I'm telling you, instead
Just so you'll know
It's not the truth

"I'm happy to be alive."

Sometimes I wonder how I survive in his head
Sometimes I wonder why I am not yet dead
Cause this is the biggest lie of them all
Yet this is the one lie that works the most
He's suicidal, crazy, not quite there
More dangerous to himself than even he is aware
But I am and I do all I can to help him
But he's so far gone...
He doesn't even remember the times when he used to laugh and really enjoy it
The times he said he was joyous and could actually mean it
But I hold on to these memories, I cant let them go
Because one day someone will listen,
One day the universe will send me some hope
I mean us, him, for I am just a voice
The one who fights off all the others, I have no choice
If I am to die, then so will he
All the hate, anger, jealousy, depression and suicidal intentions will be all that is left if I don't fight
So this one lie I let make it to the front of his mind
Cause I know that over time it has the power to heal
One day this phrase, this farce, will be real
And we can be friends again, be of the same mind
And all those other voices will be forced to die away
Go back to the hell they came from
The battle will be won but for now, I must keep the truths and tell them to you
But please don't let him know
He might try to take action
The last time he caught sight of my plans he fought me with such aggression I was almost destroyed
I went into the black and when we woke up we were staring at the ceiling from a hospital bed
With gashes in our wrist.... So please help me secretly
If I let my guard down again it might really be the end
Because every now and then I can break through and that's when I really need you
When I escape you will know
That's when he will speak the truth
When I can talk directly to you without whispering through his lies
So please just work with me I promise it will be all right
Any moment now it will happen
Please just one more moment wait, don't leave
I'm almost breaking free

"Why do I tell these lies to myself."

There I am, now speak back to me.





2 comments:

  1. This poem is quite literal and could be taken in the next stage by adding a few devices. Parallelism would have worked great, as we all "mumble" to ourselves in this manner. The rhythm can be slightly thrown off in a longer piece as this, so using specific meter can with various feet can add the fluidity between commas, pauses, and end of lines. I found the speaker very realistic though, and each declaration made was a smooth transition from one stanza to the next. Great final line. Overall, nice piece, Poet.

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    1. thanks.... i did only give it one reread so i'll give it another go, i thought the rhythm might have been out of place in some spots but just couldn't tell. Glad you liked it. And tanks for the input.

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