Saturday, 1 April 2017


I see things in grey
I breathe in the colour of neutral
Swim in the places we like to pretend don't exist, avoid, to keep up the pretence of normal
Delve into the thoughts that we try to hide
Release them into the wild and let the emotions run free
Free to become whatever they choose to be
There can be no light at the end of the tunnel without the tunnel so I shall flow into the deepest crevices of existence and experience all life has to offer
The good, the bad, the ugly, the evil and grimy and create a space that understands sorrow and pain so that at the end of the rain I can appreciate the sun that much more

It's in the grey that I train
Allow myself to recognise my fears and flaws and the world at it's worst so that when life gives me it's worst I am ready
See I could be all sunshine and rainbows and bubbles and blue skies but... what happens when things aren't going right
When there is no more light and the dark sweeps in to burst the happy cloud and I begin to drown
When I look around and happy can't be found... how will I survive
If I constantly ignored one-half of my emotions
Neglected a part of me
Shunned its existence and lived in a constant state of avoidance to anything that didn't sing with the birds and fly on angels wings
How will I survive then when the box of positivity I've so expertly created drowns in the muck of life because cardboard doesn't know how to swim

Happiness is one note, it doesn't sing.
It doesn't allow much room for anything but me...
I choose to live
I choose to experience
I choose to take in all the ups and downs, take the pain with the joy and the lows with the highs and live in a space neither left or right that places me right where I need to be to deal with life
I choose to inhale the beauty of grey and drown myself in the endless sea of possibilities that not living in the dark or light can bring me.
I choose to be an emotional well of what happens when you're willing to accept that life isn't always peaches and cream but sometimes it's dark chocolate and bittersweet
I will bend the rules, pave my own way, and be enveloped by the intoxicating aura of the unknown and unexpected, no matter how it may be manifested
I see things in grey and it is,

©Samuel Alexander April 2017

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