First Swim

I started of on a swim
Invigorating
No cares in the world
Didn't matter where I was going
Why I decided to swim that day
It only mattered that it felt so good
And there were others apparently of the same mind but I only focused on me

The longer I swam the more I began to think how much longer it would be until I met the end
The end of the journey I couldn't even remember starting
Then the why's and where's did come to me
Ideas that made me feel even better about the never ending possibilities of this journey
Somehow I knew that this was the start of something great
This was back in the days I could breathe underwater
A feet I would never again be able to do
But for now I could

The water was so warm
It calmed my soul
Lifted me to a place that again made me think of the end
If this felt so good would I take this onto dry land
What was dry land anyway
Where did this thought come from
I realized that my life existed only from the beginning of this swim
I knew nothing else but the warmth and elation of my journey
Maybe I was designed to swim for eternity
And then... there it was
A utopia
A sight to be worshiped
I had to reach this place
Enter it
See the wonders it held
I knew that this was my destiny
But all those around me seemed to feel the same

The race was on
I started to panic
What if i wasn't the fastest
The strongest
The bravest
What if no one else wanted to share this new world with me
And as I reached the orb of beauty, not first, I put all that aside and concentrated on breaking in
I had to get in
I just had to
And then it happend
The surface cracked and inside I went
And all those around me were trapped outside
But I didn't care
This was my destiny

Over thirty years have passed since then
I cant breathe underwater now when I swim
I'm depressed, miserable, alone and cold
But I know in the beginning I was warm
Sheltered from the world in my mothers womb

If I could restart that's where I would go
To the moment in time when it all began
Not some random place in time that I think would change the meaning of the word I
As it pertains to me that is
Because things have become so... well...
I don't even want to think about
LIfe just sucks ass
That's how good it hasn't gotten

But I wish I could go back
Do everything oh so different
But a redo is only a novelty idea
And I know no mater how hard I will it to be
The happy tadpole,
Again,
I'll never be
I can never begin again

The Passing of the Joint

I watch the fire rise, with a child on my back

Feel the heat as the wind wafts it against me

And I think... This shit is awesome

Vindicating

I feel release with each deep breath 

As the black clouds enter me it's like poison to cure poison

All the shit the world done to me is canceled out and with each exhale I breathe out the evil inside

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale 

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

I look high into the sky and the clouds slowly retract

The beauty of black and fire-orange are on a smooth track back to the ground

My awesome-shit feeling is returning to what it was before awesomeness

I notice for the first time tears traveling up into, not down, from my eyes

My soul is slowly retoxifying with all the things it started off cleansed from

The fire is slowly shrinking down to its source and the weight of the world flows back into me

My reversing tears become heavier and heavier as my body burns with a rage that seems more than mine

As the fire reaches it's source it disappears from view and then there is only smoke

The only noise is the raging beat of my heart

Then there is a crash, the sound of shattering glass

From the abyss a bottle flew out to me and my right hand extends to catch it, a rag was attached to it burning in flames

Neglected

I am green
I am blue
I am the dirt, the roots of plants
I am viens and smooth
Hard and soft and many things
But mostly I am underappreciated
Used and wasted
Not loved by those who have me and cherished by those who don't have but want me
The remains of me can be found everywhere by those who take me for granted
Littered across the streets

I carry a lot of things both good and bad
Powers to heal and the strength to kill
Those who have me care not much for the have-nots
And those who have-not crave from my touch, my feel
So many things a bit of me can do, but most people just look and see right through
Take me into there hands, warm me, chill me, devour me, then forget me
I'm something that you need but I'm treated like something that you just have
Purchased and as useless as that pair of shoes still in the box in your closet

But I've gotten used to the neglect
Over the years all the services I provide have been reject by the minds of so many
But there was a time when people danced for me
Beat their drums for me
Sent their hearts up to the sky and yearned to have me in their presence
They worshiped and adored me
These days, I am the sister to air
Something you take for granted and only care about until it has been contaminated
Destroyed by your own means
And then suddenly you care when the quality no longer fits your needs
Yeah I am like air, underappreciated
I wish one day things would change
My name would once again be reverenced
The gifts and standards I provide be cherished
That I would be looked upon and seen, and not seen through
For I am beautiful
I am everything
I am water, the color of life.

Beauty Lost

Buy the time I got to Woodstock I was already there
We were ready, my partner and I, ready for the music to begin
I was ready for summertime, Janis Joplin
And he wanted to take a dip in the Water that was Sweet
Ready for Quill to dip into our ink
And soar through the Havens on Richie's wings
Climb to the tops of the highest Mountain
And be Grateful for the Dead loved ones that didn't live to see this day
We were ready to shed our Blood Sweat and Tears as the music touched our souls
And land safe through the journey via Jefferson's Airplane
Feel the fire burn inside us like Canned Heat waiting to escape
Meet up with friends and Family like Sly and the Stone
Bask in the glory of Gypsy Sun and party in the rain with Ravi Shankar

Oh yes we were ready
To spread the joy, the love
We didn't know how good we had it
How soon free love would die, be extinguished and we'd have to unroll our blunts
How having a partner would soon be forbidden as we shed our love for conventionalism

As our peace symbols hung from our necks and we took a look at our posters, Hendrix
We had no idea that after this weekend that this would go down in history
Both as a glorious invent in time and...
As the end
Peace, love and freedom, oh the unity... the celebration
The good times would pass away and as we said hello it would be really goodbye
And we would be so lost in the moment that the undoing of greatness will sneak up and catch us by surprise
And as we looked back Ten Years After,
On the Sommer of so much music, joy and celebration
The Who's and what nots of what we had will only be a memory
Peace, love, freedom, music... wont mean the same, it's impact will have change
Togetherness and unity will be up and gone
And the world will Hardin, souls will start dying
Gay love, no more
My partner, gone

But... By the time I got to Woodstock my hope was soaring high on the wings of a love that can't be described
But had we known such beauty would be the start of it's own demise
Would we have made the drive to Woodstock
Would we
Would we
Would we...
Have been there, year 1969