Sunday, 21 August 2016

My Heart and I

I followed my heart through hell and it left me there
It promised at the end it would better
Told me that I'd come out of the fire new, reborn, a better me than the me that I was transformed into a being far greater than anything I could see myself being
It sung sweet melodies of strength through pain and hummed a tune of torture so agonising it was actually music to my soul
And when I questioned its motives, how it lead me astray before and I came out, well... not so good, it smooth talked me
Sweetly caressed my fears and made my doubts disappear with words it knew I wanted to hear
Lies It knew I'd make myself believe and follow it into the dark in hopes of the life I'd recieve
Good things come through trials they say so I followed
Endured the pain of burning flesh
The fear of endless darkness and paths of jagged rocks that pierced my skin
The heart knows no bounds and I lept with it into the treacherous beyond
Deeper and deeper with only its smooth sultry voice as my guide to the other side
And at the deepest of deeps
Where only the sound of my breathing echoed in the caverns
My body ragged and torn
My soul broken
My will shattered and my faith in all things at its end I heard a laugh
A sound of pure glee, almost psychotic even, manic
And the more I listened the more it seemed that this laugh wasn't glee
It was the sound of success, accomplishment
Here in the deep my heart was laughing at me telling me how I was so easy
That I never learn and thus was fooled by the same game once more
Then it was gone, no doubt to return again with promises I'll believe again
And then I'll find myself here again
Mad at myself for believing again only to be lost again in a situation specifically designed for me to fail at again and again until my failure becomes the norm
I followed my heart through hell and it left me there to realise I'd never really been gone.