Thursday, 2 November 2017

Fake It to Make It

This year hasn't been the greatest
Nor this one just past
Or the ones previously and it seems I will be perpetually stuck here to continuously live the insanity and revisit the calamity of the catastrophe of this thing called my life
Considering how things are going I see no signs of change or things going in a direction that gives me hope to drive on through

Friday, 20 October 2017


I'm in a rut,
Glued to a position cant seem to change my condition,
My purpose, the path I'm on, the direction I'm going
Continuously to be seen in a certain space my place in life determined by a will other than mine
No matter how hard I try to move in a way that's different from the predetermined direction I should be taking, nothing happens
I become motionless, frozen, incapable of changing course and the pain to do so seems great enough to do me in
I'm in a battle with my soul and the universe

Friday, 29 September 2017


This is the face of a man who woke up the same as every other man... not dead
One who thought he had something to live for but found he had nothing worth dying for
A man who thought he had something for the world
To leave behind, to give a voice worth being heard


When life hands you lemons make lemonade they say
But life forgot the water, the juicer, the pitcher to put it in
You can't just up and make it without the tools needed
Everything needs to fall in place
The stars aligned at the right time to provide an escape from the madness of life
If only it were so simple to just wish something into existence
Wave a magic wand and poof, lemonade has arrived
Abracadabra I did it... wait, no I didn't


He calls me beautiful as if it were my name
In a tone so smooth it melts away the pain
Falls on my ear like birds on a spring day, keeping my heart in sink like the patter of falling rain
Cool, refreshing, invigorating, intoxicatingly sweet are all the things this one word brings
His voice sings to my aura and flies on wings of love, that even when it seems too much he gives more with no signs of giving up

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Prayer Unheard

I sent a prayer into the sky, but I don't think God was listening
Didn't hear the desperation, helplessness of my condition
Didn't feel the hurt the pain, couldn't see hope as it went away
Nor see faith as it hid deep in the darkness of my heart that shattered my soul
Couldn't hear it crack nor feel the splinters that exploded like ball bearings in a pipe bomb
Into all the places there was light letting the shadows creep in leaving the pieces of my soul lost in the dark unable to rejoin with each other

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Mission Incomplete

I thought about ending my life today
Put a stop to the pain
Make it through all the rain

I thought about ending my life today
Leave behind all the madness
The hurt anguish and sadness

I thought about ending my life today
But at the moment of execution
Came to a shocking conclusion

I thought about ending my life today but couldn't ….
I didn't love myself enough to follow through

©Samuel Alexander May 2017