Friday, 29 September 2017

Face

This is the face of a man who woke up the same as every other man... not dead
One who thought he had something to live for but found he had nothing worth dying for
A man who thought he had something for the world
To leave behind, to give a voice worth being heard
But found today he was the same as yesterday, nothing had changed, in comparison to others his voice was... non-existent
A man who thought he was meant to be so much more so he tried, sacrificed, gave more than his all
Only for destiny to lay down the rules
His path had been chosen his fate frozen in time and he had to resign to the fact that futile was his efforts to bring change to his life
He believed the dream and chased it
Had so much hope in it sold his soul for it gave up everything placed his faith in it
Only to find that his place in time was permanently etched in the tapestry of life
The face of a man who believed he was enough until the universe opened his eyes
To the truth of his existence, the worthlessness of life
To how he should reconsider if breathing was worth the trouble it was bringing
But amongst all the truths one thing couldn't be denied
It rang on and persisted until the man had to admit it
The saddest of all realities given to him this day
Was that this man didn't even care enough to end it

©Samuel Alexander 2017

Lemonade

When life hands you lemons make lemonade they say
But life forgot the water, the juicer, the pitcher to put it in
You can't just up and make it without the tools needed
Everything needs to fall in place
The stars aligned at the right time to provide an escape from the madness of life
If only it were so simple to just wish something into existence
Wave a magic wand and poof, lemonade has arrived
Abracadabra I did it... wait, no I didn't
Life still sucks, I'm still in pain, can't see the sunshine for the rain
I'm drowning
No... sinking, buried by the noise of life reminding me that my life is meant to be bitter, without the sweet
Cold without the warmth my soul needs to survive the cruelty of simply being alive
Yet everyone's out there preaching, speak it into existence
Will the change you want into the dismal depressing state of this thing called your life
But they just don't understand because their life is all peaches and cream
To them everything is given, all the tools they need to succeed
All they need is a spoon to dip in the sweet concoction of their life's bliss not realising something is amiss from their theory
They have, you don't, better things just come on their own?
No... they won't
Take what life gives you and make it better, the motto from those on the greener side already
Honestly, it's like they are totally unaware of what's truly happening and here I am stuck with a useless lemon
That I can't juice,
Here with no water to make it stretch, no sugar to sweeten up the mix, no cups to share the wealth
But there is one thing the table of life doth provide
Shining in the burning sun that scorches to my very soul
A knife to remind me that since I can't make lemonade maybe my life should be ending
The universe hands me a choice
To live a perpetually bitter existence of eating useless bitter lemons or to remove myself from the equation
Quick. Smooth. Easy and nice
I let the decision waft over me
Make a choice
I slice....

©Samuel Alexander 2017

Beautiful

He calls me beautiful as if it were my name
In a tone so smooth it melts away the pain
Falls on my ear like birds on a spring day, keeping my heart in sink like the patter of falling rain
Cool, refreshing, invigorating, intoxicatingly sweet are all the things this one word brings
His voice sings to my aura and flies on wings of love, that even when it seems too much he gives more with no signs of giving up

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Prayer Unheard

I sent a prayer into the sky, but I don't think God was listening
Didn't hear the desperation, helplessness of my condition
Didn't feel the hurt the pain, couldn't see hope as it went away
Nor see faith as it hid deep in the darkness of my heart that shattered my soul
Couldn't hear it crack nor feel the splinters that exploded like ball bearings in a pipe bomb
Into all the places there was light letting the shadows creep in leaving the pieces of my soul lost in the dark unable to rejoin with each other

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Mission Incomplete

I thought about ending my life today
Put a stop to the pain
Make it through all the rain

I thought about ending my life today
Leave behind all the madness
The hurt anguish and sadness

I thought about ending my life today
But at the moment of exicution
Came to a shocking conclusion

I thought about ending my life today but couldn't ….
I didn't love myself enough to follow through

©Samuel Alexander May 2017

Friday, 14 April 2017

Sharing

Swim with me through waters so pure,
in rivers and lakes and oceans of love.
Fly with me through the clouds, through clear blue skies,
with the eagles, the doves.

No Tears

Today I tried to cry and failed I didn't have the strength
Found I'd passed the point of no return beyond the deep of my emotional wealth

Knocked down the walls of sanity scattering the pieces of my humanity
To the furthest reaches of the land too separate to be made whole again

Swam through the darkest of darks leaving most of me behind
Walked into the light to learn that I only brought the will to survive