Monday, 27 February 2012

Cry Of the Unseen

I am what's right in front of you, that you can not see
The one standing beside you, lost in your shadow
If I got trampled on, damaged destroyed
You wouldn't even realise, take notice I was gone

You tell me things but expect no answers
Spread words of kindness but they get lost in the air
Nothing you say with a note of care reaches me
Cause in your minds eye I am nothing, just nothing

I am that tangible thing thrown aside
The one that you touch, interact with, live with, breathe with
And no mater how real or present I may seem--nothing you do is ever meant to affect me

You look down from above and see only the ground--look at me dead-on, and see what's behind...
Where I stand... I reach out... My hand... For you to hold,
But you cant ignore what you don't see so my hand is just left here floating, just floating
Not knowing that it's been neglected cause how can it be neglected when to you it was never seen

I'm the one you donate to, to show your good will
The one you say you help, the one for whom you feel
But each day we talk, and eat, together we laugh
Or you laugh and I.. What?  I guess I just pretend

You don't see that I hurt, am pulled down by your words
Your actions towards me, your lack of reaction to things I do to you
But I guess nothing has transpired, in fact I know this to be true
Cause you never see me though I can see you

I am the one that cries alone in the sunlight
The one that sees only dark in the middle of day
The one who's darkness is illuminated by one candle, slowly fading away to remind me of my solitude
I am here for you to pretend to notice, but what's my name, say my name, i know you don't know it
I'm just an empty space where a person should be
In your eyes I'm the one that ceases to be

The one you pass by in an empty hall
The one who's voice is never heard no matter how hard I call, I cry, I plea
I'm the one who's heart you claim to love
But how can you love what you don't see, what isn't there
How can you understand something you touch but never feel
Something you hold but cant identify as real
Something so solid, yet it slips through your fingers like water
A pillar so strong but you step through it as easy as a doorway

There is no way you can ever know what it is to truly see that which your soul refuses to acknowledge is even alive, human, a being of substance
Yes, yes,  I am all of these things, or maybe not cause your essence gives my presence no validity

So I am that black hole that is full of all the nothing that creates all the things that people refuse to see
I am the voice that cries so loud it gets lost on the waves of the selfish and the proud
I am the tears that flow into rivers that only I can drown in as you walk above as Christ
I am the pain of a thousand years that is caused by each time you stare and see nothing but the atmosphere
I am the soul lost in the universe of all the things you don't even know you threw away
I am the blood that stains from being trampled to death that fertilizes the soil that grows the flowers round your grave
I am the heart that beats out of synch because it's been damaged by your lack of observation--your lack of upkeep for a entity that is dying

You destroyed me simply by not knowing that I am
I'd wish you a thousand deaths but it would be futile
I'd curse you, I'd stab you, I'd murder you, murder you
But it would have no effect, you wouldn't feel a thing, how can something you don't recognize cause you any pain

So into the darkness, the shadows of night,
And burning into daytime, under harsh rays of sunlight,
Is where I shall always go, where I reside
For I am, I am, I am nothing... I am nothing,
I am the opposite of here even though I am here
For you are blind towards me
I am invisible

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Sigh's End

I look to the heavens and pray but all I get is silence and blue skies… sigh

Birds fly by beautiful cloud formations
The smell of sea air entices my senses
Trees flow in the warm afternoon breeze
A wave of nature envelopes me with each breath
But all these garden variety notions of beauty are only devices in which the universe uses to taunt me
Just reminders of the fact that my life is out of my hands
Someone else directs my path
I can only hope mines and his agree
But somehow I must have hope, must believe
That my feet move because of me
That my fingers work because I will them too
But there are times I still rely on the divine
When I need something, want something, am lost, afraid, emotionally drained, at the end of all hope
I need to hear a voice
Send me a sign there’s still hope
Write a message on the wind and send it cross the sky
Ride on the stars of night, over the waters reflection of moonlight
Slide on the beams of the sun, rise and fall on the beating of a ravens wings
Plummet on balls of white in winter
Drop from the sky on pears of water in spring
Streak towards the earth on jagged bolts
A message twirling on a funnel of wind
With control over whether
Command of all creatures
The creator of time
The changer of seasons
You can do great things, you can do small
All I ask is just one thing, answer my call
You don’t have to say yes you don’t have to say no
Just respond, just say something, anything, hello?
I need you right now, I’m falling apart, I can’t take it no more
It's over, I'm done, finished, destroyed
Ready to loose it all
Give up my soul
Selling it for much less than its worth
But before I do this
Bring existence to end
I might not have to, you can help, you-can—you-can
Just one little favor, just one small request
Just talk to me, speak to me, answer me, save me, revive me, inspire me, excite me, enlighten me, care for me, care for me, oh-please—oh please care fore me
Show me this one time before I end this life
Just one word from you and this I won’t do
Wipe the tears from my eyes
Give me hope again, faith again, love again, strength again, be my friend please be my friend
Ahhhh be-quiet—be-quiet
The song of the birds is driving me crazy
The sound of the waves
The green of the trees' leaves blowing in the breeze
Are all just distractions the noise is to loud
Nature is too strong
I can’t hear a thing
But it doesn’t really matter
Each beautiful flower
Each ripened fruit
Each tree, each root
Not now as I wait, I wait, I cry,
My prayer was lost before it hit the air
I tried to send it to the sky but it just hovered then died
At least that's what I try to believe
Before I end my breath
As I wait for my answer to stop this disaster
I have to believe you still want me to be
Or at least that's what I'm telling myself
Though truly I don’t believe
I know it can’t be true
The one thing I asked you couldn't do
It's clear now what must be done

As I look to the heavens and pray but all I get is silence and blue skies… no more sighs


I’m looking for something, searching, hunting
I need this, want it deserve it
Or maybe that’s the problem, that I don’t deserve it
But that can’t be, I’ve played by the rules
Done my part, been through the ups and downs, heartaches and pains
I’ve grown. . .  matured, I deserve it, hell I’ve earned it

So I’ll travel far and wide on a search to find what my life is missing
Under the beds and in my closets
Over mountains and through the valleys but still it eludes me, taunts me, refuses to make itself known
It defeats me so I give up, and then I see it
To my left, to my right, above and below, everywhere
I’ve been waking up each morning searching for something that’s within my reach
So I do just that and reach, but it moves away
I run after it but it runs faster
I cry out to it but it ignores me
I pray and plead but it passes me by
Yet it hears the calls of others

Everyday people walking up and down the street
It’s in their eyes, they way they hold hands, the warmth in the smiles shared
The connection of hearts that joins their all and releases the vulnerability of their souls into the arms of the one they trust to treat it like a treasure beyond the limitations of this world
But here I am, begging, groveling at the mercy of its feet
While it smiles and laughs at me
Refuses to answer me and sends me spiraling down into an insane world of loneliness and emptiness
Floating down a heartless river of my own tears on my raft of hope that one day I’ll be heard
That one day the emptiness of my soul will join the river of my tears and flow into an endless sea of possibilities
But each day I believe it less
Heartache becomes the equivalent of happiness and my raft of hope crashes amongst the reefs of despair and the broken shards chip away at my resolve
Forcing me to realize that alone is my world
Empty solitude is my realm

But still I search for it, though it laughs at me
Still I believe in it, though it denies me the chance to call someone mine
To belong to another
To feel something so great words can’t define it
A connection so strong it reaches from this world to the next
Where your minds, hearts, souls and bodies intertwine in a perfect symphony that just glows and inspires all within its range

I want that feeling
I’ve done all I was asked
I’ve made my mistakes, and tried to make things right
So why am I here crying out with all that I am year after year trying to ignore the signs
Trying to ignore the laughter by shouting my prayers louder

But the voice in my head won’t go away
It's saying you’ll never find your one and only someone
You’ll live your life missing out on the joining of your soul with another
Still I can’t believe it
Not after I worked so hard for it
I deserve it, hell I’ve earned it
I'd give my life to destroy the conclusion that destiny is pulling me too
That love has decided I’m not worthy.

Mind Travel

I have dived into the darkest crevices of my mind
Traveled into strange lands with objects I long lost--Stored away in hopes I can retrieve them when I need them most and swam into even darker places
With the most disturbing information that I hoped never to see again, things I'd hoped Id forgotten
They flooded back to me tormenting me with memories yet oddly connected to the things I wanted to find
And as the darkness took me in, my breathing became labored and I thought hope was all gone
Just at that point when I thought I could never escape the long and winding roads of my mind and have to live forever in darkness
I hit the end... and then... there was light
I did not slip in to madness I have emerged just fine


I breathe in anguish like oxygen
I exhale love like the wind
I digest pain like food and it breaks down into depression that my body uses for nourishment
But all the things that my body needs
Like hope, happiness, compassion and other pleasantries
It can not digest and use,
Is fully excreted
Discarded into the bowl of total destruction and flushed away in a swirl of forgotten dreams
Permanently removed to leave me so depressively
Then in again I breathe

Friday, 24 February 2012


Photo by Noel Zepeda
I'm crying on the inside
Cliche, I know... But its true
Inside me is a forest of depression
Its beautiful, magnificent full of everything my heart desires but doesn't need
Trees of sadness, birds of anger, chipmunks of pain, butterflies of hate
Wild mushrooms of destruction, raw berries of denial
Foxes and rabbits, beavers and dear
Plant life of all kinds all renamed and labeled in strife

Then there's water, tears of depression
All mine, my creation
Falls from the sky on cue to keep this forest alive... Help it thrive...
It flows into rivers full and clear with fish to be eaten by the wild bears
Divides into sections due to the beavers dams
Makes random puddles that float amongst the grass
Sometimes it pours and other times it drizzles and sometimes it rains though the sun has risen
Though on the surface it looks wonderful and grand
Nothing is as it seems for this surface is me

I'm looking out on the real world and see nothing but despair
Each tree, each bird, each person, all beliefs, just appear, to me, to be, just different forms of misery
so I smile and hide and cry on the inside as I fall apart
As I loose hope and darken my heart

I see me lost, alone, destroyed, going nowhere cause everything around me is trying to destroy me
Making me realise that I hate me
Hate who I am
Where I live
How I look and see nothing but pain, how I can only see how worthless I am
How all my relationships are doomed to fail
And my friendships... Who knows... Would I even be my friend
If I wasn't me... Maybe

So I smile, I laugh and I play
Try to ignore that my soul isn't fading but already lost, destroyed and withered away
My eyes blackened by how much I hate me but to the world they look bright and shiny and full of hope
I cry enough to keep my inner world alive
Feed it with the grey world I live in on the outside
Nurture it with each breath knowing that no matter how hard the rain may fall
My forest of depression will grow, stand tall
In this forest I rest my head, I sleep where my feet land
Depression is my home

Yes, I know its beauty is a farce but its all I know
So I'll cry and cry and cry, though you'll never see it
Cause if I stay In your world I know I'll take my life
But my forest is real to me, here I am alive

Wednesday, 22 February 2012


I'm attached, glued, pressed together, tied up and chained
Forcibly held, against my will, refrained, permanently detained
Cemented, stamped, imprinted, stuck, sealed,
To the earth, the ground, the planet, the soil, the sand,
To a place that rejects me yet won't let me go
To a land that hates me but holds me prisoner
Treats me like a disease, is infected by each breath I breathe
And I am affected by its hatred of me
I want to be free, but the world won't let me leave
It torments me with each step
Burns my insides with each breath
Does all it can to make me want to break away yet holds on to me so tight I can't escape
I'm a prisoner in my own skin
Imprinted by a life that doesn't want me
That I don't want to be in
My wrists, my hands, my ankles, bleed the blood of the person I don't want to be
Trying to escape this world that has chained me
A land that has no place for me and never shies away from telling me so... Letting me know
But I am human so here I must stay, until my time has passed away
I am chained, tied up, pressed together and glued, attached to this world by my race.

Untitled 1

My soul escapes me with every tear and replenishes with each breath, leaving my aura in a state of continuous death. Each breath is the last, each tear creates more. My soul has become an expert at creating consistent pain.


He loves me not--He loves me...

As my last petal is thrown aside I realise I've given up my beauty for someone else's happiness
I have been violated
Forcibly plucked and torn apart
And now that my job is done... there is no more use for me
I've been raped of my worth and now...
I'm just an ugly stem thrown aside


Ticktock Ticktock
The sound of the clock signifies the pace of time
The order in which things go
The rhythm and rhyme of life
24 hours... 7 days a week... 60 minutes to each unit of the hour but as the seconds tick in my head I realise that my time skips a beat
Me and the living-room clock are not in synch
Chaos rules my heart beat
A metronome of disaster pulls at my heart strings
The earthquake of my tormented soul doesn't know the pace to which the man-made clock goes
So as my aura bleeds the agony of my space and time... as sanity slips in and out on the rhythm of a swirling breeze... as love comes and leaves and heartache fills its place... as smiles turn to frowns and straight lines form circles that go round and round and bring me back to this living space
Where the perfect clock and my life's time piece click out of pace
I realise it's man-made just as I on that night, or day,  I cant say
We are both flawed... but my inner clock bends man's rules of time
It lives in a space where heartache can last forever and love flits in and out from petal to petal as fast as a honey bee
Where doubt is only a few steps slower than hope and the destroyer of dreams is at the same pace as faith, no matter how fast hope tries to keep faith afloat,
An impossible task with doubt just a few steps behind hope giving its strength to the destroyer of dreams
My clock keeps sadness on par with joy and my avalanche of emotions never know at which pace to go
But though quite different, the clock and I,  ultimately will stop keeping track of time
But a new battery will give the clock back its life
While I will be berried... forgotten... expired
My ticker can not be revived

Another Day

Another day to be me
Another day to live my life
Another day to breathe
Another day to just be
Another day to close my eyes and dream

Another day to look at myself
Another day to want for something else
Another day to view life through these eyes
Another day to swim in the rain from my grey skies
Another day to close my eyes and dream,

Another day to live inside myself
Another day to hide from the world
Another day to pretend the world no longer exists
Another day to retreat and deny life's truths...
Another day to close my eyes and dream,
Release... And refuse to open my eyes


I'm lost, but I know where I am
Sad but my reflection is smiling
Lonely with someone beside me
I'm... Well I don't know really
I just know what I am is incomplete

Tuesday, 21 February 2012


Photo By Noel Zepeda
I look out my window to see the sunset
Watch the splendor of the colors as they mold together
A symphony of vision that plays its music on my mind
Plucks on the heartstrings of serenity
Strums on the pulse of desire
Trickles through the windmills of my mind on the wind chimes of delight
Runs across the keys on notes low and high, playing chords of all kinds, on the memories of my life
All the good and bad moving together in harmony on a river where you cant tell its start from its end... each note belongs to the next... on the harps tune of experience
Then there's the moan of sadness smooth as water untouched, but with a calmness that rises on the heartbeat of hope, as the violins continue to rise with my emotional tides
Than a playful yet smooth infusion of spontaneity on the acoustic rhythms of Spanish guitar dancing across the footsteps of my soul

The percussions beat with the anticipation of the future, the anxiety of the past -- the hurt, pain and love of the present -- Running around the fields of uncertainty where the tall grass hides my paths from here to there, as the flute joins in to keep my hope floating --On the fast and twirling runs I find acceptance in the unknown as the trumpets sound to signify there's room to grow
I rise higher as the orchestra takes me on a crescendo and sore through the clouds on musical wings -- on an allegro of light and happy wind beneath my wings, I flap to the sound of joy each breath brings
Then there's a sudden cadence while the gong signifies lightening
I’m struck and fall to the ground in a long decrescendo….
Then a few bars of silence as I lay on the ground, before the violins return singing a sad tune in minor key, an Adagio that puts me at ease
Even though the chords of this tune may not be the best these violins blend well with the piano and prove there's hope yet
Then in softly comes the flutes on the winds of time once again playing the wind chimes in avenues of my mind
The percussions beet softly giving me the strength to get up and move along the rivers flowing with the melodies of the harp
The trumpets hum softly in the background and I realize, today the sky holds gray clouds I can not see the sun’s demise
And as this last movement comes to its finale, I still don’t regret my living in the west
I close my eyes and let the symphony re-arise as I look at the sunset on the music sheets of my mind

Am I?

Am I datable

Am I capable of being someone's better half

Am I not all that I could be, should be

Am I not what you need

So many questions without answers or maybe they are answers in disguise as questions
A trick to fool me into believing the truths in the answers that don't exist
And... as I ponder the idea of 'am I' I realise that I'm blank
Just empty
Not an empty canvass to paint on
Not an empty void to be filled
There are no existing clever ways and perfect phrases to explain it this time around
The profoundness is in its simplicity
The idea so easy it's astounding
That it is so uncomplicated surprises me and brings new light and despair at the idea of simple
I will turn my question into a statement and amazingly... now... I have answers

I am not what you need

I am not all that I could be, should be

I am not capable of being someone's better half

I am not datable

And now that I've made the switch the feeling is still the same... nothing has changed..the answers in my questions have been revealed and the truths I created to answer them destroyed
What  am I to do now that I can see the 'I am not' in my "Am I' datable?

Depths Of Darkness

I've received the kiss of death
Traveled into the darkness of the world
Swam the seas of an empty soul
Fallen in the bottomless pit of a blackened heart
Drank the tears of a poisoned love
But it in the caves of forgotten goodness was where I found the kiss of life... and now... I find... nothing has changed
The world is still an evil place
The kiss of death and life are one in the same.


too bright,
blinding me,
need shadows,
need comfort,
soothing breeze,
damp air,
chilling darkness,
grey gloom,
black skies,
grey clouds,
need light,
shining bright,
too hot,
burning flames,
I need,
in between,
no light,
no dark,
not this,
another life.


A sun behind gray clouds is like love behind pain
Always trying to push its way through to be seen, felt, and received
But ultimately neither can force the will of the other
Both are at the mercy of nature who decides when the seasons change,
The sun and love are fighting in vain
Forever their glowing warmth, hidden, shall remain
Till the universe decides to change the skies of gray

Monday, 20 February 2012

Happiness' Home

In my heart there is a place where happiness dwells,
Locked away by pain and jealousy,
Love holds the key but is nowhere to be found, and heartache is the foundation this room is on,
The rooms of my heart are fortified with walls of hatred, and hope is busy trying to find love in rooms filled with depression, and faith is lost, just roaming the halls in darkness,
Cause happiness is the light,
So I'll never be happy as long as love is lost.


If I were a bird I'd fly into another world...
If I were a star I'd fall in another galaxy...
If I were a clock I'd live in another time...
If I were not me, then maybe you'd be mine


I feel like all I do these days is dream
I live in the real world but my soul resides in a place that isn't real
Filling my life up with things and possibilities of a reality that can only exist in the confines of my mind--I become so lost in this dream cause the me that I am would surely remove himself from this planet... and I can't let that happen
But I can't live in a dream because to dream I must be asleep and walking around zombified is no way to live a life
I can't reach my dream if I stop
But I'll cease to exists if I dream too much
So I'll leave the world behind just one last time
Maybe tomorrow my dream will be mine
I feel like all I do these days is dream


Today I will drown in my sorrow and be reborn in my heartache
I shall hang myself with my depression and be re-birthed by my pain
Swim the seas of lonely tears and be decapitated by the reefs of defeat and despair
Be awoken back into misery and see each death as a pleasant dream
Close my eyes and re-enter the dark


Photo by Noel Zepeda
Sitting on a park bench just thinking about life
Wanting to write a poem but I'm not sure what to write
Hoping to be inspired, be struck with inspiration
That the universe will give me the seeds of new creation
People walk by me, some fast some slow
The sun is positioned so I write in my hands shadow
A lady walks by arm in arm with her mom
Enjoying the rare warmth of this seasons sun
All the trees and shrubs blow lightly in winters breeze
But yet my mind seems numb loosing itself with ease
The soothing sound of city traffic, the harmonies of chirping birds
And in the distance laughter and friendly chatter can be heard
The feel of the crisp clean air with every breath I take
That slightly chilled afternoon breeze calms as it hits my face
So many things going on around me as for my inspiration I wait
As birds fly overhead I wonder how much longer will it take
There are only moments left of sunshine before behind the buildings it dives
Surrounded by such activity I decide to take a break and close my eyes
It seems while waiting for clarity my sight was getting in the way
Now I see more clearly what this park bench means to me
I was looking much too hard, to far, desperation made me blind
But now that I've taken a step back, relaxed, I find my inspiration is life

God's Flight

If god is a bird he flies north in the winter and south in the spring... Leaving me in eternal cold
My life sees no summers and knows no springs
Fall enters on the eve of winters wings
I am chilled by the maker that shifts the stars and realigns the seasons into positions that constantly leave me with chilled hours
My heart has been burned by frost that bites at it by day and night


I pray to be,
longing by scheinbarSomething more,
Something better.

I wish to be
Something different,
Something special.

I yearn to be so many things
A man full of life, hopes and dreams
I cry out to the ruler of fate and destiny
Reach down into the world
Lift me up, elevate me,
Change my course, reroute my path, release me from this land,
Save me from who I am....

I'm crying so desperately to be not me
Take me away
Please just take me

Sunday, 19 February 2012


I take a moment to stop and breathe
Time to channel my inner peace
Take me to a place where my mind can be free
A place where I can be calm
My soul at ease
I am searching for silence
That empty place where all things grow
New ideas and some of old
Finding places within me full of knowledge I didn't know I knew

So I'll empty myself and reassess
Or empty myself just to revisit
To ensure my mind and soul are one
I must reach my silence and linger a while to let what needs to flow back in do so, unfiltered

But outside forces invade my silence
Noise in the form of violence and hate
Jealousy and evil
Backstabbers and liars
Pretenders and disbelievers
All coming at me each and every way
Crowding my silence with their pollution
Not allowing me to fill it with its own growth solution

I've removed all my own noise
I've done my part
I've emptied my void so I can start the process of evaluating myself
But how can I do what I need, when my silence is filled with invading activity

Silence is golden only if the world excepts your silence and lets it be
So for silence to be golden we must destroy the noise
And to do that we can not remain silent

Rambling Heart

Sitting here thinking I should be happy
I'm alive still... of sound mind and somewhat healthy
But sad is all I feel
I'm living a life I wish wasn't real, and as I reach inside my soul to find something that will give me new meaning and hope to swim through the oceans of depression to dry land, I realize that I cant
It's impossible
Illogical... undeniably inconceivable and certain in its certainty that I am unhappy
Alone in this world

                    No one to hold me, no one to comfort me, no one to cry with, no one to die with
                    Just me, and myself and I, together, forever, to never travel with a forth companion... just by ourselves into a world that has no love for us... so we give up
                   Or we try to give up
                   But sadly we can not
                   For we are eternally, emotionally, subconsciously and consciously bound to a reality that makes us believe that we deserve love

                                           I believe that someone will find me
                                           I believe that the universe will guide me
                                           Towards the person who will compliment me, complete me, shape and reform me into a unit that's made up of two entities, stronger than just the one, bonded by trust and love
                                           But I also believe that love has deserted me
                                           I feel that the universe has intentionally forgotten me
                                           So by myself I sit and cry, and ponder, and decide, that I've had enough of this conundrum of loving love and hating it at the same time
                                           But alone is so... I don't even want to think about it

I want my rhymes to sing,
I want them to breathe,
I want them to flow on the notes that robins sing in the springtime
To fly on the music of the humming birds wings
To chirp with the morning frogs hiding in the trees
And harmonize with the singing crickets, to soar on the breeze high through the clouds, of mountains, to flow in fountains, and be heard in the rippling of a brook, and be caught in the spray of a water fall
I want them to be fresh as the dew drops on a leaf
And fall when ripe like apples from the trees
But they don't, they can't, and won't
They refuse to be anything more than the usual, factual, not too intellectual ramblings of a man hanging by a never ending thread of loneliness
A man wishing to wake up and see it's all a dream and have someone laying next to me, instead of a cold pillow that brings no comfort no matter how hard I squeeze
It just reminds me, binds me, confines me, to the obviousness of my situation
That I've finally realized exactly what I want, what I need and will never receive, unless I just give up retreat and cut myself off from the world... so cold
The world that holds what I need, but if I go out there I'll drown in all that I want, not need, and end up falling for something that's not enough, not right, just wrong, and try to hold on cause I want so bad to be needed by someone more than a friend
But if I hide than this person I'll never find
But if I look I'll settle for whatever I do find
I'm stuck in the middle, in that place where both left and right are quite different but the same
Alone and miserable if I stay
Alone and miserable if I stray
Alone, plus alone, equals me, singularly
All I want is to be in a space where something flowed from my mind and infected my fingers to write words that will uplift the minds and hearts of the nations, and become contagious to all who come in contact with it, with an undeniable sense of wholeness that refreshes even the most hardened soul

But today won't be that day

So here I am trying to be happy, and I find, the more I write about love, the more it evades me
So here I will stop
Yes here I will stop


I am a leaf on a fruitless tree
Yearning to be more than I can be
Knowing that if I leave my branch I will die
That my roots have determined my barren life--a species that will be fruitless no matter how hard I try--to grow into something more appealing to the eye
But still I try... yes, I try
Until I fall to the ground and leave my branch behind
I was a leaf on a fruitless tree now separated from pain am I


Down.  Diminished.  Disintegrated.  Distressed.  Destroyed.  Demolished.  Disgusted.  Destructed.  Decomposed.  Deteriorated.  Decapitated.  Dismissed.  Depressed.  Drained.  Disabled.  Dragged.  Dropped, and dominated...
Disgusted with my life
Disengaged with who I am
What do you do when the problem is yourself

Twisted Trinity

There's me, myself and I.
All together... we... make an us.
Three voices uniquely their own agreeing and disagreeing on the who's and whatnot's of the us, we are together.
But through the many voices holding this organism in form, there is still only one entity and together all in one
A-L-L, O-N-E
Drop one L and he is alone

Subconcious Hope

Here... I give this to you
It is so cold and alone
Lifeless, forgotten, thrown aside, used and abused
Unidentifiable, nameless, lost and rotten
It used to be... so wonderful full and free... It believes
It used to hum a song so sweet and full of the nothings that bring such joy
But now it just moans and groans in agony of what it used to be
Only a distant memory, soon to become a fantasy, its destruction slowly happening, soon to be lost from reality