Couples Should Die

"Couples should die."

I mumble to myself
When did this happen
How did I get here
To this place, this space, this area, this postion
This point in my life where I'm jealous, no envious of what you have that I don't
I'm disgusted by the sight of it
Angered by the thoughts it provokes deep down in my soul cause all I can think is
"Why not me.  Why not me."
Why did life choose them to walk hand in hand down the street
Sharing secrets that only lovers can keep
Why am I on the sidelines
Merely a byline underneath their full and beautiful skyline
As useless as a lamppost on the side as they travel through life
In such blissful company god they're everywhere I look
How could this be
That I have been chosen to be one of the few to live a single life
Not by choice but by design
Not by desire, or any will of my own
I'm just stuck here wishing for all that they have
The things that I want
But never seem to come
My way
So I just watch and stare as they smile into each-others annoyingly happy faces
But it doesn't stop there
No there's more I fear
Each argumental confrontation, of people in such relations, and the bitter conversations that they hold
Do the same thing, have the same effect,
Make me so angry that I don't even have that
Someone to piss me of, make me mad, fight with over stupid dumbass shit that we cant even remember when the fire has died
No one to love enough to make me hate them at the same time and feel like I cant survive without them in my life
Oh to have something that swam on the winds of everlasting harmony so beautiful, melancholy, amazingly and wonderfully imperfect as soothing winds turn into raging forces
Clashing against one another, form friction and tension, as we say hurtful things to that we know we don't mean and then... the storm turns to sunshine
And we both realise, together we are much better, greater, stronger, and entity of oneness in two parts yet with one connected heart
I want it all,
The good the bad,
The happy the joyous,
The hurt the sad,
The make up and breakup of a pair that can never be torn apart
Destined to be,
So heavenly and eternally, with nothing in heaven or hell that can break us
But all this thinking, has got me thinking, as I see more couples walking side by side
See them sharing smiling in each-others arms
And even when they sit in silence I can see the love that moves between them like invisible bolts of electricity
So yeah it gets me thinking again, "Why is it them, and why not me"
So angry and depressively, and growing in my enviousness and malice towards something beyond my control
The sadness inside me slowly grows
And I'm forced again to come to the fact, that I will never ever have that which I pretend I don't long for
Each day I want it more and more, but here I watch and stare
Bitter and alone

Deep inside I'm drowning in my tears