Choice

You can help me, but you wont
I'm here needing a helping hand but all you do is bitch and complain
I'm tryn' to do the best that I can
Make the world I live in better first for my kids and second for me
But all my life you've let bad things happen

So here I am at the end
Strugling to survive but the only thing on your mind is...
Somtimes i just don't know, how so many people can be so cold
In this day and age we all need support
Fuck where have all the good people gone
Shit i'm tired of cryin cause no one will hire me
Tired of being alone cause no one wants to be with me
Tired of looking in an empty fridge
A woman on edge living day to day...
Taking whatever may come my way and I look to those who can help
Those in the position to give and save me if only for just a while
Feed my familly if only for just one night

Dumbass fathers with no sense of parenting
No connection to the seed they've planted
Cousins and aunts and other family
Always looking for escuses to turn the other way
Always finding ways to blame it on me
A goverment that helps all the dead beat moms with five baby daddies and a job
Giving them money to survive
Yet here i am just grasping on to life
Staring into my children's eyes, the love for them is my only will to survive

So again tonight as I realise everyone can help but chooses to deny me a chance to better myself and familly, and is content to treat me like the worms crawling in the sand under the soles of the shoes on your feet as you stomp down on my dreams....
I sit here again and cry

But I'll survive

I'll move on
I'll get the degree you said I couldn't
You may knock me down but I'll come back full force
Because of your chocies I've been batterd and used and mentally abused yet here I still stand
Above it all... and when I"m on top you'll say that's my daughter
That's my neice
I went school with her
I always knew she'd be something
Suddenly you'll want to be a part of the women that is me
When the only thing for me you ever did do
Was treat me like scumb
Look down on me
Abandon me
Think I was beneath you
Fuckn' fake wana be sponging of me assholes

Oh but don't worry
You will not get off easy
Forgivness shall not be yours
Claim me you will not
Cause I'll remember the broken, destroyed, dead, lost, insicure, suicidle heartless, cold, angry, bitter, shell of a woman you tried to make me
I'll rember the choices you made
The person you were then and still are now
I"ll feel it in the core of my soul that
You can help me but you wont
Samuel Alexander