Frozen

I'm in a rut,
Glued to a position cant seem to change my condition,
My purpose, the path I'm on, the direction I'm going
Continuously to be seen in a certain space my place in life determined by a will other than mine
No matter how hard I try to move in a way that's different from the predetermined direction I should be taking, nothing happens
I become motionless, frozen, incapable of changing course and the pain to do so seems great enough to do me in
I'm in a battle with my soul and the universe
A fight I didn't choose but I either give in or lose
But giving in is also losing
I wish that I were the one pulling the strings of my life
A puppet master of my own mind, but the fates have decided otherwise
So here I stand, immobile
The person I want to be docile,
Trying to break free from my motionless state and I consider taking a step, forward on the map like I'm told to
But I can't, won't, choose, refuse to move
If I can't be who I am I can't be what they want
I'm going to stay in this place, defy the fates
I'll find a way to rearrange my present position to something in direct opposition of what you choose
Life may not be fair, but that's okay, I don't play fair either
I will fight and take prisoners
I'm stuck but not defeated

©Samuel Alexander 2017