Thursday, 17 April 2014


I tried to fly but my feet never left the ground
I realised I don’t know how
Or at least I think I don’t know
Something was nagging at the back of my mind
Trying to break free
Telling me there was more to me
Something had happened to make me incomplete
And the more I pondered this seeming distant thought, the more clear it became
I couldn’t fly because I didn’t have wings--obviously
Yet that thing in the back of my head kept knocking
Banging loud enough to cause a mild migraine
And as I stared into the mirror, downing some Excedrin, water after the pill was swallowed
I noticed something, no felt something

I reached my hand behind me and turned to see my back in the mirror
I immediately felt like an idiot

My back was the same as every day before
Wishing for wings wasn’t going to make them appear, but... what if it could
Maybe if I thought hard enough they would appear
Appear to take me into the air
Remove me from this dismal place of self-defeat and depression and help me glide onto the clouds of self-worth
Ride the winds of recovery and become the man I know I once was
Today could be the beginning of a better me
But I can’t take flight without wings

Breathe in, Breathe out,
Will myself into a better place
Where I can fly, if only figuratively, and find strength to pull me out of the gutters and filth I’m swimming in
Take me to the springs of the highest mountains to bathe in the purest of waters
Renew my soul and bring warmth back to my heart
This day, will be the day,
The day of all days
Upward, forward, onward, there is only ahead to go

And that’s when it happened
With a swoosh and a and a gush of wind so strong I almost fell down... out sprouted the most beautiful wings
Blue, the colour of the clearest ocean with darker blue highlights and a span too large for my tiny bathroom--so I had to fold them in
I grab one and touch it
Feel the soft yet strongness of the feathers... and it comes to me
Why I forgot that I had wings
I was at war
With life

It fought hard and defeated me
Made me forget all that made me whole
Took my hopes and dreams and joys away
Left me in this shadow of a man to slowly wither away until I ended my pain
Your poison seeped through me and weakened my mind
Took my memories and made me think I never could fly
Erased each battle, each time you laughed in my face so that I’d wake sinking further into a state of dark embrace
Each day bringing me closer to the day I’d destroy myself
My death would make you stronger
Just another soul destroyed by your evil

But this time it was different--I remember

This time as I travelled down halls that screamed out in pain
Up stairwells slippery, covered in the moss of shame
Through doors with locks stiffened from life’s abuse
And rooms filled with the dust of mounting doom
Over mountains with winds of defeat threating to send me to my death
And through valleys of unworthiness that seemed to have no end
Through waters so cold they froze my hope
And rains so intense they drowned my faith
Lighting that struck that almost killed my strength
And smog so thick I almost lost my breath
To the very depths of darkness I entered into your camp
To take back what was mine
Take back what you thefted
And this time as my blade of fire formed I smote you down
I won’t be defeated,
This time life, you lose
And as the battle came to that point where I went in for the kill
I screamed out all the years of torture I lived at your will
And through your heart my sword did fly
This day
Yes this day
I reclaim my life

In a puff of rancid black smoke your shell evaporated
Then into the air, gone, and that’s when I saw it
A bottle
In the middle of the field
Made of pure light
I smashed it open and now here I stand
Awake the next day, all that I once owned is back
But my reflection seems to be looking down, at my hand
So I raise it and stretch it outwards towards the mirror
Quick as a flash my reflection grabbed and stabbed my arm and oozing out was a sizzling orange liquid
It almost seemed to scream as it took form, for just a moment, into the thing, I thought I’d killed, just the night before
Life was still in me trying its last attempt
To send me down the road of forgetting all over again
And as I looked at my reflection it smiled with a nod
Then I ran outside my house to breathe in… freedom

See there was something deep inside that this world couldn’t touch
And somehow, beyond all reason, I managed to save myself,
From the hate that life poured into me rather successfully
I escaped, and now life it looks oh so different
This isn’t the same world that succeeded in doing me in
And now I must begin to find my way again
And you, yes you, you know who you are
You didn’t nail me to the ground
You didn’t succeed, no I won this,
I won this
And now you’re going to see what you could never take from me
Now you’ll see what your jealousy has done
You tried to clip me because you wanted what I have
But now, I’ll show you
Watch in horror as you witness my power
I’m coming to get you
Vengeance shall be mine
I beat my wings with a determination so strong
Watch me soar

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