Saturday, 8 December 2012


Today breathing is difficult
But then again it was yesterday
Breathing is laborious and with each sneeze my chest and head feel the pain of the existence that is my life
With each cough I realise the disgusting mucus of defeat that clogs my world and makes it difficult to inhale
Migraines pound against my soul reminding that all hope is... well that it never existed was never with in my reach
Beyond my grasp and moved so fast that it could never be gone, because hope... it was never had to be lost
My puffy eyes make it difficult to see the good things life has for me and cost constant irritation as i use the infected hands i coughed on to rub and ease their pain
This only seems to make them hurt more and tear up in the moisture that drowns my heart in hopelessness
The hopelessness that forces my heart to gasp for air as it tries to stay afloat
Heat washes over me in freezing temperatures forcing me to sweat out liquid that sends my body into confusion
My heart mind and soul are reacting to heat though it is freezing cold
Though they are dead from the feverish state life has put them in
My being for a day when oxygen flowed through its lungs, its body was at a constant temperature and eyes never threatened to irritate my existence
And just when things couldn't get worse mid cough the disgusting mucus that covers me in a film of hurt and hate that I cant escape gets caught in my throat
Life sends me into a coughing fit in order to allow myself to dislodge the none breathing state it has put me in
Life has made the cold to strong, to severe and its mission is to torture me
If I die its fun will be over
The cold is designed to remind me of the things I am and what I will never be and if I cease to exist lifes mission will be incomplete, over
No more control, no more life to alter, hold down press at the same time and delete
And as I go blue and ready to take my last breaths
To be free from my distressed breathing, drowning heart, mucous covered soul and burning eyes of shame, one bloody painful disgusting cough and my throat has been cleared
Life breathes a sigh of relief as I return into my sick state
With all the feverish symptoms life can now again use to keep me in a permanent state of almost destruction
So yeah breathing is difficult today
But life likes it that way
But even life can make a mistake and next time it may not be so lucky
On the other side the sickness of life will be gone and I will win and at last be free
Life will defeat itself
But maybe, just maybe, not by death
Maybe I will live

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