Sunday, 31 March 2013

First Swim

I started of on a swim
No cares in the world
Didn't matter where I was going
Why I decided to swim that day
It only mattered that it felt so good
And there were others apparently of the same mind but I only focused on me

The longer I swam the more I began to think how much longer it would be until I met the end
The end of the journey I couldn't even remember starting
Then the why's and where's did come to me
Ideas that made me feel even better about the never ending possibilities of this journey
Somehow I knew that this was the start of something great
This was back in the days I could breathe underwater
A feet I would never again be able to do
But for now I could

The water was so warm
It calmed my soul
Lifted me to a place that again made me think of the end
If this felt so good would I take this onto dry land
What was dry land anyway
Where did this thought come from
I realized that my life existed only from the beginning of this swim
I knew nothing else but the warmth and elation of my journey
Maybe I was designed to swim for eternity
And then... there it was
A utopia
A sight to be worshiped
I had to reach this place
Enter it
See the wonders it held
I knew that this was my destiny
But all those around me seemed to feel the same

The race was on
I started to panic
What if i wasn't the fastest
The strongest
The bravest
What if no one else wanted to share this new world with me
And as I reached the orb of beauty, not first, I put all that aside and concentrated on breaking in
I had to get in
I just had to
And then it happend
The surface cracked and inside I went
And all those around me were trapped outside
But I didn't care
This was my destiny

Over thirty years have passed since then
I cant breathe underwater now when I swim
I'm depressed, miserable, alone and cold
But I know in the beginning I was warm
Sheltered from the world in my mothers womb

If I could restart that's where I would go
To the moment in time when it all began
Not some random place in time that I think would change the meaning of the word I
As it pertains to me that is
Because things have become so... well...
I don't even want to think about
LIfe just sucks ass
That's how good it hasn't gotten

But I wish I could go back
Do everything oh so different
But a redo is only a novelty idea
And I know no mater how hard I will it to be
The happy tadpole,
I'll never be
I can never begin again

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