Am I?

Am I datable
Lovable
Desirable
Wanted
Needed?

Am I capable of being someone's better half
Soul-mate
Lover
Companion
Completion?

Am I not all that I could be, should be
Smarter
Softer
Harder
Happier
Sadder?

Am I not what you need
Solidity
Safety
Comfort
Support?

So many questions without answers or maybe they are answers in disguise as questions
A trick to fool me into believing the truths in the answers that don't exist
And... as I ponder the idea of 'am I' I realise that I'm blank
Just empty
Not an empty canvass to paint on
Not an empty void to be filled
There are no existing clever ways and perfect phrases to explain it this time around
The profoundness is in its simplicity
The idea so easy it's astounding
That it is so uncomplicated surprises me and brings new light and despair at the idea of simple
I will turn my question into a statement and amazingly... now... I have answers

I am not what you need
Solidity
Safety
Comfort
Support.

I am not all that I could be, should be
Smarter
Softer
Harder
Happier
Sadder.

I am not capable of being someone's better half
Soul-mate
Lover
Companion
Completion.

I am not datable
Lovable
Desirable
Wanted
Needed.

And now that I've made the switch the feeling is still the same... nothing has changed..the answers in my questions have been revealed and the truths I created to answer them destroyed
What  am I to do now that I can see the 'I am not' in my "Am I' datable?

Inspiration

Photo by Noel Zepeda

Sitting on a park bench just thinking about life
Wanting to write a poem but I'm not sure what to write
Hoping to be inspired, be struck with inspiration
That the universe will give me the seeds of new creation
People walk by me, some fast some slow
The sun is positioned so I write in my hands shadow
A lady walks by arm in arm with her mom
Enjoying the rare warmth of this seasons sun
All the trees and shrubs blow lightly in winters breeze
But yet my mind seems numb loosing itself with ease
The soothing sound of city traffic, the harmonies of chirping birds
And in the distance laughter and friendly chatter can be heard
The feel of the crisp clean air with every breath I take
That slightly chilled afternoon breeze calms as it hits my face
So many things going on around me as for my inspiration I wait
As birds fly overhead I wonder how much longer will it take
There are only moments left of sunshine before behind the buildings it dives
Surrounded by such activity I decide to take a break and close my eyes
It seems while waiting for clarity my sight was getting in the way
Now I see more clearly what this park bench means to me
I was looking much too hard, to far, desperation made me blind
But now that I've taken a step back, relaxed, I find my inspiration is life