Betrayal

I came upon a pool of water, it seemed so calm, serene.
Something was saying it wasn't safe I turned to leave but then my heart said
"You can swim.  Dive in"
So I did
The water felt cool and calmed my soul then the voice said "deeper" and so... I dove
Into the cool blue I swam then blue turned to dark
I went to swim back up then the voice promised sweet things were waiting at the bottom
It said "Here I'll help you breathe.  Go just a bit further"
Down I went until I couldn't see my way.

My Heart and I

I followed my heart through hell and it left me there
It promised at the end it would better
Told me that I'd come out of the fire new, reborn, a better me than the me that I was transformed into a being far greater than anything I could see myself being
It sung sweet melodies of strength through pain and hummed a tune of torture so agonising it was actually music to my soul
And when I questioned its motives, how it lead me astray before and I came out, well... not so good, it smooth talked me
Sweetly caressed my fears and made my doubts disappear with words it knew I wanted to hear
Lies It knew I'd make myself believe and follow it into the dark in hopes of the life I'd recieve
Good things come through trials they say so I followed
Endured the pain of burning flesh
The fear of endless darkness and paths of jagged rocks that pierced my skin
The heart knows no bounds and I lept with it into the treacherous beyond
Deeper and deeper with only its smooth sultry voice as my guide to the other side
And at the deepest of deeps
Where only the sound of my breathing echoed in the caverns
My body ragged and torn
My soul broken
My will shattered and my faith in all things at its end I heard a laugh
A sound of pure glee, almost psychotic even, manic
And the more I listened the more it seemed that this laugh wasn't glee
It was the sound of success, accomplishment
Here in the deep my heart was laughing at me telling me how I was so easy
That I never learn and thus was fooled by the same game once more
Then it was gone, no doubt to return again with promises I'll believe again
And then I'll find myself here again
Mad at myself for believing again only to be lost again in a situation specifically designed for me to fail at again and again until my failure becomes the norm
I followed my heart through hell and it left me there to realise I'd never really been gone.

Unseen Touch

Familly members Youngest to oldest and sons. Mother's Day 2016 mom was awarded mother of the year award at her/our church New Testament Church of God Miracle temple Bermuda. And this is the fifth poem I've done for her and this time I had help. I posed the first phrase of each stanza and asked for sentences of any kind and promised I would rework their ideas to fit poetry and sell exactly what it was they were trying to say. The first two siblings after my brother couldn't think of what to write so I had to use some creative skills and morph their exact words from phone conversation into something uniquely them. All in all. I think it came out well. Hope you all like it.

Anthony (second son)

Joan (sister)

Charles (brother)

Phyllis (sister)

Marie (sister)

Bertha (sister)

Kenneth (brother)

Wallace (me)

If I knew that after today, I’d never see you again, 

I'd thank you for believing in me

Encouraging me to strive towards my best. 

Tell you It was Daily Bread on drives from Dockyard that introduced me to my favourite scripture (Hebrews 11:6).

Thank you for all the words and phrases you’ve made up in my lifetime, oftentimes without knowing that fueled countless jokes

Endless laughter.

Remind you that you are one of God's greatest gems 

my Mommie Dearest, one of a kind

there's no one more special.

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I don’t know what I’d say. 

There isn’t anything I could say that I haven’t already said. 

And that is saying something.

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I wouldn’t be able to think of what to say. 

I’d want it to be personal and uniquely me so you’d know how much I care.

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I’d let you know my life would be bleak without you in it. 

Thank God for a sister like you

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I’d think about how you love to make pound cake 

Call me when it fell. 

I’d save the day with my super human baking powers and behold 

The next time

Perfect pound cake would be made. 

If our mother were alive still, you’d call her 

But clearly you recognise I’m just as good. 

Maybe even better. 

I’d let you know that I value that you value my advice.

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I’d tell you how lucky I was to be blessed with a sister like you.

Who likes to have fun playing group games. 

Is so loving and kind and giving towards others. 

I’d tell you about the love I felt and shared in your presence though I didn’t always verbalise it.

If I knew that after today I’d never see you again, I would be confused, 

quiet. 

I’d think about events gone by, 

Christmas, Cupmatch, church invites. 

No more pollymeat, a childhood nickname

Lost but not forgotten 

I’d use the time to be silent

Remember all the good times shared.

If I knew that after today, I’d never see you again, 

I’d take you in my arms and hold on to you 

Real, real tight. 

I’d experience your touch one last time.

It's time

I think it may be time
Time to let go, move on, give up
Face the music and let the world consume me
Meet the fate i tried to change
Rearrange
Evade
Accept the nothingnesss and drift away into the eternal abyss of worthlessness of the me i really am and accept that the me I want to be is the stuff that pipes are made of

Morning Run

I see you when I run, or more accurately I feel you
Before I hit the hill I try to stretch my eyes above and beyond to see you waiting for the morning bus, but to no avail
So bobbing left and right the anticipation rises deep inside and I see you before you see me and I tell myself ‘keep a straight face this time’
I fail miserably
Glowing in anticipation of your glow and then… you notice me
You smile
You wave
For seconds the entire world feels like it will be okay and all my troubles melt away and it lingers for a while, long after I’ve passed you by
That is the power you wield in just a smile and a wave
Like magic, a life, instantly healed, saved
I try to leave the gym right on time to see you
Plan far enough ahead the day before to know I wont miss you
Just the thought of this moment consumes my being and then….

The Reader And The Words

Writing
How to describe it
Euphoric bliss as words bleed out from fingertips and ink the pages of one's soul
Take flight into places the writer could never go
Leave impressions in the snow banks of the lives of people that may have lost their way
In each word there's an imprint
A message
A passage into a journey deep within
Beyond even what the author experienced when they gave birth too...
Inspiration
Salvation
A connection that only words can make
A bridge into the dark places that make one feel all alone
Into that personal place where words leap from the page and swirl in the darkness glowing in the minds of the ones it is meant to connect with
Nothing exists except for them and the message

Wings

I tried to fly but my feet never left the ground
I realised I don’t know how
Or at least I think I don’t know
Something was nagging at the back of my mind
Trying to break free
Telling me there was more to me
Something had happened to make me incomplete
And the more I pondered this seeming distant thought, the more clear it became
I couldn’t fly because I didn’t have wings--obviously
Yet that thing in the back of my head kept knocking

Banging loud enough to cause a mild migraine
And as I stared into the mirror, downing some Excedrin, water after the pill was swallowed
I noticed something, no felt something